Transcript

PANEL 1
Pot and Kettle
POT
So these vampires don't explode in the sun?
KETTLE
Nope, they sparkle like a diamond.
POT
They what?!?
PANEL 2
Pot and kettle
KETTLE
They sparkle because they are so beautiful and majestic.
POT
You mean gay.
KETTLE
No! Thay are majestic!
POT
And they sparkle?
KETTLE
Yes!
PANEL 3
Pot and kettle
POT
So they’re a bunch of ass-pire then?.
KETTLE
The gay ones are.
POT
The rest are just sparkly supporters.

CHOOSE YOUR STARTING POINT

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Twilight 3: Asspires
Posted on May 27, 2009 by The Revenge

This one might be stretching it a little bit, but sparkling vampires in the sun is just a little gay. Is that the best Stephanie Meyer REALLY could do? Sparkling in the sun like a giant diamond? The Twilight series has got to be the WORST vampire series EVER written. And I’m including Anne Rice in this as well. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate the stories for what they are, an ‘ultimate tale a love and trust’ but honestly, the ‘vampire’ and ‘werewolf’ aspects are complete shit. It’s like a child wrote the super natural parts.

Don’t get me started on the submission female that is Bella and how she bends to ever need or Edward. Really, do we have to read for FOUR FUCKING BOOKS how pretty he is? How she swoons at him? IT’S LKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING WORD.

/rant.

Today’s y2cl pimp-a-delic comic: Channel ATE! by Ryan Hudson.

Check it out, leave them a comment saying I sent you there. There are cookies.

6 thoughts on “Twilight 3: Asspires”

  1. Vee

    nothin like erotica for preteens and lds ladies.

    ALSO, thanks for pimpin us out!

    1. jhorsley3

      hanks for the awesome comic! (yours not mine)

      yeah my wife tried to justify it to me, all the ‘ohh edward’ BS in the book. Saying he’s like the perfect man or whatever. I tell her ‘yeah, perfect if you want a blood sucking homo’

      1. Vee

        perfect man my ass! I would never EVAR want to be with a creepy guy like that. AW HELL NO!
        I preferred Jacob tell he went all perv-o. Conclusion: these dude’s are nothin fancy. sparkles and all.

      2. ivan

        Edward is NOT perfect man! Ivan is perfect man! Ivan will even sparkle if you pay him!

        1. Deth Invictus

          If Ivan sparkle, Ivan Asspire! 😛

  2. Deth Invictus

    Sparkly vampires…..yup, fudgepackin’ asspires! 🙂

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