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PANEL 1
Jonly in a Christmas hat in front of a Christmas tree
JONLY NONLY
Tomorrow is Christmas and you know what that means? That means today is CHRISTMAS EVE! Which means we all get to open ONE PRESENT! I'm so excited!
PANEL 2
Jonly leaning and standing in front of the Christmas tree
JONLY NONLY
Calvereena! Open yours!
PANEL 3
Calvereena and Jonly standing next to a giant box of condoms. Christmas tree and presents are behind them. He is holding a bottle of penicillin.
CALVEREENA
Aww! Thanks guys! A Giant bos of condoms and some penicillin! Just what I need to finish out the year!
JONLY NONLY
The year? There's like 1,000 contomes in there?
CAPTION
To have sex 1,000 times in a year you would need to be busting a nut 83 times a month.
CAPTION
Break that down a little and it's 19 times a week.
CAPTION
2.74 times per day.
CAPTION
Or once every 8 hours and 45 minutes.
PANEL 4
Calvereena standing best to his giant box of condoms and holdin ghis penicillin
CALVEREENA
Yeah, that should get me through until the new year starts!*
CAPTION
To have sex 1000 times in 7 days you would need to bang 143 people per day.
CAPTION
6 per hour.
CAPTION
That's one every 10 minutes.
CAPTION
This is without sleep.
CAPTION
Add in 8 hours of sleep a night and another hour for potty breaks.
CAPTION
Let's assume you can eat and fuck.
CAPTION
You need to fuck 228z per day, 9.5 per hour, or one every 6 minutes
CAPTION 3
Gross.
PANEL 5
Jonly standing in front of the christmas tree
JONLY NONLY
I'm glad you enjoyed your gift Calvereena! Remember, don't be a fool, wrap your tool!
JONLY NONLY
Ok Earf! You're up next! I wanted to make sure you got something special this year! You ready.